black end of red

Tomorrow is Just an Excuse

2009-10-30T23:59:00.002+08:00

I've always been worried of what will be my future and what is in store for me for my tomorrow.
I've always thought of my dreams and what the future can give me.
I've never even realized that what I do now will greatly affect tomorrow.

Tomorrow is just an excuse to escape today.

Tomorrow you can't change today.

Tomorrow is not today.

Make use of today and not tomorrow because tomorrow... will never be today.

skip, turn, step

2009-05-16T20:00:00.003+08:00

I felt so sad after the final presentation for my ojt in HeroTV.

I will surely miss all of them. T_T

but sure enough, to wish for time to stop or time to turn back would really be crazy.

but the heck. i am crazy ... crazy enough to want to turn back time...

learned a lot. felt a lot.
experienced a lot.

all i have to do is remember all of it. engrave it in my mind.heart.soul.

then there was goodbye. for a while.

live.life.love.laugh.tears.patience.fear.understand.forgive.create.believe.stand.protect.humble.passion.explore.push.try.best.fantasize.tweak.original.

YUI - AGAIN mp3

2009-04-06T14:15:00.003+08:00

Here's YUI's new song for Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood's new opening.

http://rapidshare.com/files/217973504/01_-_again.mp3

Enjoy!

Please buy the CD to support YUI.

Chance

2009-04-06T14:02:00.003+08:00

I woke up listening to the beating chug of the train
My head pumps blood and pain, the air is stiffling
Is this what we call a new refreshing day?
It's as if I'm bounded in a box of truth

Sleep brings forth dreams
Life brings forth reality
but here I am, standing on the border
I just want to live my dreams
Just one chance to bring it to life!

Reasons will bind you
Emotions will blind you
What's the cost of a dream fulfilled?
What's the weight of a life ruined?
Are tears equivalent to living?
I just want to live my dream
even if it's pain I have to bear.

I walked down the streets of crying children
My face started to cringe, my eyes started crying
Ah, if this is what is called to be human,
Is there a choice of not being one?

Sleep brings forth dreams
Life brings forth reality
but here I am, feeling life with my hands
I just want to live my dreams
Just one chance to bring it to life!

Reasons will bind you
Emotions will blind you
What's the cost of a dream fulfilled?
What's the weight of a life ruined?
Are tears equivalent to living?

Look up and you try to reach the sky
Look down and you feel the weight of the world
Move forward and you forget who you are
Live in your past and everything will stop!
Then once again..

Reasons will bind you
Emotions will blind you
What's the cost of a dream fulfilled?
What's the weight of a life ruined?
Are tears equivalent to living?
I just want to live my dream
even if it's pain I have to bear.

Just give me one chance!
One chance
I want to see it with my own eyes
The cost of fulfilling my dream.

Balancing the Imbalanced

2009-02-28T18:31:00.003+08:00

"Newton's Third Law : For every action, there's always an equal opposite reaction."

And it applies to our daily lives in various unexpected ways; worse, the reaction is more than what we did. No matter how we try to avoid it, most of the time, every action that we make gives us the opposite reaction -- the reaction that we are not anticipating. You gain here, you lose something at the other end. I guess, this law is more of trying to balance the things in our lives rather than trying to nullify everything.

So it goes, you become a workaholic and you lose the people you treasure. It's the same thing when you try to concentrate on just one part of your life. If you focus on just your academics, sooner or later, you'll realize that the people around you are fading slowly one by one. At times, if you gain new friends, you lose the others. It's not about asking who your real friends are; but, it's a matter of how you give time to all of the people you consider your friend. It's not about them trying to understand you; it's about you trying to understand them. Step out of your self-centered world and see how the world revolves in a different perspective. You'll see that there's a lot of things happening without you knowing it. Things and people change, even the weather changes.

Same thing goes when you just focus on keeping all of your friends. Isn't it a shame on how mediocore you are in terms of responsibility? You can't give your best shot when your focus isn't on what you are supposed to do. You set it aside and say to yourself, "people are more important." Wrong. A person shouldn't neglect even one of his responsibilities just because he's trying to keep is world of friendship and family intact. If you see that your responsibility in work or in school is a great hindrance to your world, drop your responsibility and leave it behind.

For every action, there's always a greater opposite reaction. You lose in life; but, you'll soon realize, you gained something really important. You gained something that is never taught in four-walled rooms. You gained something that is never seen in books, most especially, never spoken of by your friends. When you gained something, you'll lose something in return. It might be that you'll lose something important to you -- pride, wealth... name it.

The question of balancing comes into mind. However, there's no such thing as balancing everything in your life. A balanced life does not necessarily mean a balanced time for everyone. It's just not feasible. If you don't lose anything, you won't gain anything. If you lose something important to you, win it back by losing something else instead.

Life won't give you everything that you want. You'll only get what you need and those that you give real importance to.

----

**note: I'm sorry, lae. I miss you so much. 8D'

LanlaLanla~

2009-02-07T09:10:00.005+08:00

So it's lae's bday yesterday and so, here's what I was able to make:

and my try-hard sketch of her:

and my failed attempt to sketch an anime sho:

..

lanlalanla~ I'm sorry, lea. happy late birthday

Untitled

2008-12-24T23:00:00.005+08:00

I keep pressing my fingernails on to my palms
Resisting the fact that I'm not calm.
I may be all wrapped up in your arms;
but where's the warmth?
Where's the warmth?
I'll leave you in silence.
Only thinking that my presence
is a violation. It's a violation.
I'm crossing over the fence.
What we've come to understand has lost its sense.
What's the sense?
Hey pain, I'm here. Prove to me I'm real.
This thin icy sheet of steel is inviting as it feels.
Because crying is useless. Because I won't cry, it's hopeless.
The emptiness speaks with my voice.
It is never a choice.
"What choice?"
I keep pressing my fingernails on to my palms
trying really hard to be calm.
I'm arguing with my conscience; please give all these some sense.
Because crying is useless. Because I'm bleeding.
I'm bleeding with my wounds invisible.

Distorted [Prologue]

2008-12-18T21:31:00.002+08:00

Prologue:

My heart pounds erratically against my chest along with the rhythm of my breathlessness. I can’t see a thing; not one light is lit wherever I may be. The coldness of the tiles that seem to exude the smell of blood is seeping through my clothes.

Someone’s coming. I can hear the unusual footsteps coming closer. The footsteps that seemed more like dragging carries this groaning voice with it. I still can’t see a thing; but, I can hear it more clearly now.

I will not die… I will not die…

I want to scream badly but the thought that this person might hear me silences my voice. I moved a bit to my left and then I felt this cold sticky liquid on my hand. I tried to smell it; then, all my guts wanted to crumble. I cannot force back my tears now and I cannot hold back my scream anymore.

My sharp voice pierces through the air and keeps bouncing on the walls. I know that person heard me. I have to run; yet, as I stood up, I slid back down banging myself on the pool of blood on the freezing tiles.

He’s coming.

“XALEN!!!”

----

This prologue is still not sure.

Theory of Love

2008-12-18T15:31:00.004+08:00

How I hate it, your body's gravity
My eyes, they're attracted to you
Where's friction when you need it?
I can't stop moving closer to you.

I guess I can't explain this.
I guess there's no theory about this.
Do we blush because of love?
Or do we, because of blood rush?
Do we get crazy because of this feeling?
Or do we, because of entropy?

How I hate it, this temperature change
This situation, turning my energy to waste
If it's possible, I pray, for a human being
I'll evaporate then condense before your lips.

I don't know why, I can't say why
I won't try, I can't cry
Your centripetal force, yes you
My world revolves around you

Do we blush because of love?
Or do we, because of blood rush?
Do we get crazy because of this feeling?
Or do we, because of entropy?

But no matter how, no matter when
No theory or experiment can
Explain this situation at hand
I'm falling in love, and accelerating at that

just trying it out

2008-12-18T15:16:00.001+08:00

...
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okay.
i
am
totally
weird.

just
trying
something

out...

=]